http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/4419 Mon, 31 Mar 2008 00:15:00 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3125/t/Avoid-if-you-are-easily-offended.html
After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, "Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I'm not wasting two of my girls on them. They won't know the difference."

The manager does as he is told and the two old men go... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (col bloodnock) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3125 Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:00:22 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3127/t/MIND-THE-STEP-.html
St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the butterfies!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are butterflies all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a butterfly, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (julesnsand) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3127 Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:19:04 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3128/t/Creation-.html
On the first day, God created the dog and said:

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

"Entertain people, do tricks,... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (julesnsand) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3128 Mon, 28 Jan 2008 13:58:44 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3129/t/A-nun-s-story-.html
A nun and a priest were crossing the desert on a camel. Two days out, the camel dropped dead.
Seeing their predicament and their impending deaths, the two began to discuss things they had missed in life.
The nun, suddenly emboldened told the priest she had never seen a man's member.He obligingly pulled up his robes . She looked in disbelief and asked "What it was for?"
"Put in the right place", he said, "it brings forth life".
"Well... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (julesnsand) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3129 Wed, 23 Jan 2008 13:29:17 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3130/t/Vive-La-Difference.html Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket
according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long
dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -
make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in
the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (essexgirl10) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3130 Fri, 18 Jan 2008 02:15:37 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3131/t/Jim-the-thoughtful-Husband.html

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are over-sensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (col bloodnock) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3131 Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:42:43 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3132/t/In-the-money-.html
Jim goes to his doctor..............

Jim: I've been having problems with costipation doc, I went to the toilet this morning and couldn't pass anything. Eventually I felt something coming, put my hand round and pulled out a fiver!

Doc: Blimey!

Jim; That's not all doc, I kept passing fivers till I had a whole stack of them.

Doc: Strewth Jim, how many?

Jim: 195 worth.

Doc: Heavens man, I'm not surprised you weren't feeling two... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (julesnsand) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3132 Fri, 21 Dec 2007 13:48:05 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3133/t/Political-Correctness.html
For example I made a light quip about dyslexia the other day and was taken to task in a memo from the boss, He said quite firmly that jokes about dyslexia weren't clever and they weren't furry. ]]> feeds@yuku.com (Richard Gavin) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3133 Sun, 16 Dec 2007 03:00:18 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3134/t/A-lingering-.html said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state,
dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

She got up,switched off my computer and threw out my wine.


AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! ]]> feeds@yuku.com (julesnsand) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3134 Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:38:43 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3135/t/HELP-.html
The late England manager, Steve McLaren , was moping across Sainsbury's car park. He spotted an old woman having trouble with her trolley. "Can you manage dear?" he enquired.
"A lot better than you"she replied" but I'm not daft enough to take the England job!" ]]> feeds@yuku.com (julesnsand) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3135 Fri, 23 Nov 2007 18:32:53 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3137/t/two-pilots.html One is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his
way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter
spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit,
the door closes and the engines start up. The passengers
begin glancing nervously around, searching
for some sign that this is just a little practical joke.
None is forthcoming.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and
the people sitting... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (col bloodnock) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3137 Tue, 13 Nov 2007 11:46:39 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3138/t/Modern-Nursery-Rhymes.html
Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When they boys came out to play
He kissed them too cause he was gay


Its raining, its pouring
Oh s**t its global warming


Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was white and whispy
Then the lamb got foot and mouth
And now it's black and crispy


Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun
Jill, the dill, forgot her pill
And now... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (essexgirl10) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3138 Fri, 09 Nov 2007 22:39:15 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3139/t/From-the-boozers-bible-.html Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen

feeds@yuku.com (julesnsand) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3139 Fri, 02 Nov 2007 10:54:01 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3140/t/The-sensitive-man-.html
There are three shelves in the bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (col bloodnock) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3140 Fri, 02 Nov 2007 08:53:01 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3141/t/Splish-Splash.html

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzTnBMO9BxI ]]> feeds@yuku.com (I Should Care) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3141 Mon, 15 Oct 2007 18:50:35 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3142/t/VIRUS-WARNING-.html "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it . Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. This virus will mix... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (Wendy Stevenson) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3142 Wed, 26 Sep 2007 23:46:10 GMT http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3143/t/Scouts-letter-home.html
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened. Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast.
I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found... ]]> feeds@yuku.com (Wendy Stevenson) http://whirligigtv.yuku.com/topic/3143 Sun, 26 Aug 2007 18:44:04 GMT